Western Pitch

Thursday, September 01, 2011 / Bloggified by Jake Bell /

I was watching Silverado tonight and it's even better than I remember. And I remember it as one of the greatest Westerns ever.

About ten years ago, I wrote a Western that I was happy to find wasn't a rip off off Silverado, unconscious as that ripping off might have been. I put together a four-page comic pitch that I published in an ashcan of my writing samples back in 2006.

Since nothing's come of it, I might as well share. Art here is by Bill Mitchel.

Oh, and go watch Silverado. It's available for streaming on Netflix.

PAGE ONE – FOUR PANELS

Panel 1:
This shot should take up a third to half of the page. We see a long distance shot of a small farm in with the Rocky Mountains in the background. Think Little House on the Prairie without the prairie.
SFX: (small): BLAM BLAM

Panel 2:
The remaining panels are side-by-side across the bottom half of the page. In this one, CORDELIA, a baby girl, is laying in the dirt crying.
SFX: (extend unbroken over remaining panels) WHAAAAAAA

Panel 3:
Pulling back, we see a dead woman lying near CORDELIA. Fresh blood is oozing from bullet holes in her back.

CAPTION: I don’t know. I don’t think we’re supposed to kill the kid too.

Panel 4:
Pulling back even further, we’re now watching the scene over the shoulders of two gunmen, STACY and ERNEST, who have their guns drawn.

ERNEST: (off panel) Of course we’re supposed to kill the kid too.



Alternatively, you could do this as one large image split into three panels giving CORDELIA, the dead woman, and the outlaws each their own panel.


PAGE TWO – SIX PANELS

Panel 1:
Low angle looking up at ERNEST and STACY (CORDELIA’s POV) who have their guns pointed at the baby. STACY is the bigger and younger of the two. ERNEST is thinner and older. Neither seems very happy about pointing a gun at an infant.

SFX: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ERNEST: You hear those stories about guys who come for revenge because their parents got killed when they were kids. Where do you think those guy come from?

Panel 2:
STACY lifts his gun.

STACY: I… I didn’t sign up to kill any babies.

Panel 2:
ERNEST gestures with his gun.

ERNEST: Remember in MacBeth? He finds out his uncle killed his dad to marry his mom so he kills his uncle.

Panel 3:
ERNEST and STACY argue, ignoring the baby.

STACY: That’s Hamlet.

ERNEST: No, it’s MacBeth.

Panel 4:
STACY looks off into the distance, away from ERNEST but NOT BEHIND THEM! ERNEST looks at STACY, rolling his eyes.

STACY: Where’s Walsh? He’d know.

ERNEST: Walsh never read MacBeth...


Panel 5:
STACY looks back at ERNEST to clarify.

STACY: No, he’d know if we’re supposed to kill the kid.
ERNEST: Of course we’re supposed to kill the kid. We were hired to kill the whole family and the kid’s part of the family.

Panel 6:
STACY aims his gun at CORDELIA again.
PAGE THREE – SIX PANELS (2 per row)

Panel 1:
STACY lowers his gun and turns to ERNEST again.

STACY: Then you do it.

Panel 2:
ERNEST and STACY look at the crying baby. ERNEST is hesitantly chewing on his lower lip trying to find an excuse to get out of infanticide.

ERNEST: I… I shot the lady. You shoot the kid. It’s only fair.

Panel 3:
STACY is yelling to the side. ERNEST cringes at the loudness.

STACY: WALSH!

Panel 4:
STACY shrugs.

STACY: I just want to make sure before I do thi-

Panel 5:
A bullet bursts through STACY’s chest.

SFX: BLAM

Panel 6:
Two more holes tear through ERNEST’s chest as STACY slumps forward to the ground.

SFX: BLAM BLAM


PAGE FOUR – FIVE PANELS

Panel 1:
ERNEST falls in the foreground. Behind him, we see a man holding a pistol with smoke pouring from the barrel. This is TAYLOR. He is a cold, dangerous looking man with a noose dangling from his neck, the end of it frayed. He looks like he’s been roughed up recently.

SFX: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Panel 2:
Stepping forward, TAYLOR keeps his gun on STACY, making sure the two are really dead.

Panel 3:
STACY and ERNEST lie face down on the ground. TAYLOR turns toward CORDELIA.

Panel 4:
Barreling forward, he sweeps her up in his arms, still holding the pistol in his right hand.

TAYLOR: Shh… shhh… it’s all right. Daddy’s here.

Panel 5:
He holds CORDELIA tightly to his chest as he looks down on his dead wife.

TAYLOR: Stop crying. Daddy’s got you. You’re safe now.

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